7. They don’t dwell on the past.
The past is in the past. There’s no way to change what happened, and “dwelling can be self-destructive, preventing you from enjoying the present and planning for the future,” Morin writes. It doesn’t solve anything and can lead to depression, she writes.
There can be a benefit to thinking about the past, though. Reflecting on the lessons learned, considering the facts rather than the emotions, and looking at a situation from a new perspective can be helpful, she says.
8. They don’t make the same mistakes over and over.
Reflecting can ensure you don’t repeat your mistakes. It’s important to study what went wrong, what you could have done better, and how to do it differently next time, Morin writes.
Mentally strong people accept responsibility for the mistake and create a thoughtful, written plan to avoid making the same mistake in the future.
9. They don’t resent other people’s success.
Resentment is like anger that remains hidden and bottled up, Morin writes.
Focusing on another person’s success will not pave the way to your own, since it distracts you from your path, Morin writes. Even if you become successful, you may never be content if you’re always focusing on others. You may also overlook your talents and abandon your values and relationships, she says.
10. They don’t give up after the first failure.
Success isn’t immediate, and failure is almost always an obstacle you will have to overcome. “Take, for example, Theodor Giesel – also known as Dr. Seuss – whose first book was rejected by more than 20 publishers,” Morin writes. And now Dr. Seuss is a household name.
Thinking that failure is unacceptable or that it means you aren’t good enough does not reflect mental strength. In fact, “bouncing back after failure will make you stronger,” Morin writes.
11. They don’t fear alone time.
“Creating time to be alone with your thoughts can be a powerful experience, instrumental in helping you reach your goals,” Morin writes. Becoming mentally strong “requires you to take time out from the busyness of daily life to focus on growth.”
Here are some of the benefits of solitude Morin lists in her book:
- Solitude at the office can increase productivity.
- Alone time may increase your empathy.
- Spending time alone sparks creativity.
- Solitary skills are good for mental health.
- Solitude offers restoration.
12. They don’t feel the world owes them anything.
It’s easy to get angry at the world for your failures or lack of success, but the truth is no one is entitled to anything. It must be earned.
“Life isn’t meant to be fair,” Morin writes. If some people experience more happiness or success than others, “that’s life – but it doesn’t mean you’re owed anything if you were dealt a bad hand.”
The key is to focus on your efforts, accept criticism, acknowledge your flaws, and don’t keep score, Morin writes. Comparing yourself to others will only set you up for disappointment if you don’t receive what you think you’re owed, she says.
13. They don’t expect immediate results.
“A willingness to develop realistic expectations and an understanding that success doesn’t happen overnight is necessary if you want to reach your full potential,” Morin writes.
Mentally weak people are often impatient. They overestimate their abilities and underestimate how long change takes, she says, so they expect immediate results.
It’s important to “keep your eyes on the prize” and relentlessly work towards your long-term goals. There will be failures along the way, but if you measure your progress and look at the big picture, success will become attainable.
